ChRySaNtE

...Aftermath of the killer flu...

Writing this during the stay in Corpthorne Tara Hotel, London

Being hungry is the worst thing that can happen. You can see, smell, taste the food. But no matter how much you love the food, you throw up everything you've eaten and you'll feel sick and hungry again. That's exactly what happened to me!!

I swear I'll never make myself hungry anymore, not at the expense of my health, even though I'll gain a little weight.

I'll tell myself, and anyone who's on diet: Please don't try to make yourself hungry and not eating. Taking 3-5 small meals a day will still make you slim so long as you don't take supper or overstuff yourself with ever meals.

Aftermath of the killer flu...

1. Abstinence from coffee -
Used to be great time coffee lover and if i passby any cafe, I'll definitely sip a cup of aromatic coffee to past my leisure time.. a wonderful relaxation.. It started when I was studying and i fell in love with coffee, which successfully holds my focus for few hours, lift me away from migraine, especially during peak exam periods. I was thinking then - the wonders of coffee. I even develop a kind of perception that drinking coffee will make me loose weight...

Then when i fell sick at times, I realise my body was weaker and i experience several heart pain attacks. Even though, it didn't stop me from loving coffee. And till then, whenever I touchdown from any flight outstation, I'll hunt for chilled coffee to prepare for the flight going back. It used to be my RULE for a cup of coffee before every flight.

Thinking back, I had a bottle of double strength coffee before my sydney flight back home, which was when I started vomiting, experiencing grinding stomach etc. Coffee killed me then.

2. Avoid stomach damaging food.
I stop taking food/drinks that gives me the perception of able to slim down - Used to take lime juice 5x a week, kimchi noodles 2x a week, plus usual over-ordered dinner. I thought i enjoyed the food.

3. Love my mum and dearest more...
Dearest is always there taking care of me, my every meals, time of rest, outings, relaxation. Before this, I used to think he'd been too sticky to me, not giving me enough personal space. Now that I realise when I needed him, he was there.. like anytime!! Bought nice fish porridge with extra fish slices when he has something else to attend to, accompanied me until time to sleep or sending me to flight. Why did it take me sooo long to understand his point? And to neglect him, ignore him, taking him for granted, or even reject him despite that I know he needs attention as well. I ever once believe he was the best, and I really didn't know when did i shift away from that idea...

Mum is equally good, prepared food that i can only take, especially when she know she isn't around, and i'll not cook for myself. So she'll prepare plain porridge, my favourite preserved lettuce, green/red bean soup for me everyday till even when i got well. All these simple dishes somehow make me feel like i'm being well looked after, like i'm the luckiest girl in the world, and i definitely want more.

posted by ChRySaNtE @ 2:35 AM