ChRySaNtE

...posting after a year...

Writing this during the stay in Sydney Hilton Hotel.

It's been one year since the last entry. Some updates if anyone's still reading..

Getting tired of flying and starting to enjoy off days very much. But still, have to work for a living. Starting to question the quietness in my life.

During these months,

I finished my Jap Elementary 2 but stop since the other two didn't want to continue.
I stayed in room most of the time overseas running over dvds, watching serial movies and listening to songs.
I hid in my comfort zone.
I took much things in life for granted - esp people around me. I let my frenz org meetings; my love ones to take care of my life, etc.

I need another break through. I need to regain the aspiration and motivation to lead a meaningful life and the first step always seems the hardest...

My greatest worries now...

Mum was sent to Shanghai 6mths for work within short notice. I've visited her once and she slimed down abit, saying that she's stressed about not accomplishing the job and she can't really eat in her own appartment alone. For her age to be traveling overseas alone i some how worried about her safety, health and mental. I worried that she'll be cheated, I worried that she's no one to talk to, I worried that anything happens to her I would not be around. I know she's strong but i'm still worried. She didn't want to go, yet she said quitting her job isn't a solution coz sooner she'll feel empty again. So she decide to go ahead with that project. I felt lucky that i can travel to visit her and this seems to be the only thing i can do for her. Sigh...

Dear was scheduled to go US for training. But before that he has to complete full medical check up. That's when he realised one of the check up was unfavourable and more testings was needed. He's upset and low morale and became quiet. He didn't tell me much about those test yet if i dun asked, he'd feel that i didn't care. I'm worried for him and about the check up medical reports. I'm so used to being taken care of.. and now I don't know what i can do for him. I do have negative thoughts at times and I really really dun wish it to happen. Dear continued smoking and drinking and again there's nothing i can do or say about it. Or perhaps I can....??

The two closest people around me now.. seems so far...

posted by ChRySaNtE @ 5:03 PM