... the tough 2 months before my wedding...
I'm back... after lazying in the airline for toooo long... way tooo long...
Realized last update was close to 2years ago and of course many things happened! Many!!
Am married in 22nd October 2012 with my 8years boyfriend, officially Mrs Lee. Didn't came easy to accept for the first 2months due to incident that happened just 2 months before wedding.
Aug 2012
To summarize, found my ex-boyfriend (cause he's current husband) sending a beer girl home at late hours, and all he told me was "I'm going for a drink". And I really have no idea what got into me to follow him. Maybe it was the slight hurry to "go for a drink" despite not seeing me after I came back from a long flight, that made me suspicious, or maybe it was few unintentional checks while I'm overseas on where he was from the 'find my iphone' app, that make me puzzled cause he shouldn't be where I checked he was. So I pulled the check again to find him instead of driving home, he was going the other direction for that drink, and even sending the girl home which was further away from his place. I walked up to him when they were at the girl's place's void deck, demanding for a reason why he was there, demanding to know for how many times he had sent her back... His reason was he was "just sending his 'friend' home", "since its not very far". I know this person too well. If he wants to do something, he'd give all reasons he can pull from his bank.. and evidence shows it wasn't really "on the way". And he even insist he should have his privacy and keeping that "friend" cause she's just a friend. Subsequently, under duress, he further admitted knowing this person for about 2 weeks and had went for meals together twice or so. All done when I was not in town and unaware. Having a friend that requires "offline" from fiance?? Of course I told him, its either me your fiance, or her, your "just a friend". From then on, as I had warned him, I'll forgive but not forget, and this follows into the marriage. I passed the baton back to him, to marry or not, you choose and don't regret.
This incident, of course, did disappoint me and crashed me real hard. Our wedding is just scheduled around the corner and I didn't quite believe this man whom I've been dating for past 8 years, whom I've always know that he never looked at other girls, whom he never need to keep a girl friend away from my knowledge and parked under "his privacy", to put me through this 'betrayed' situation. I cannot decide, I want to pull out from our wedding but there were way too little time for too many considerations, our families, the invitations, the news of the marriage. My confidence in him drop to rock bottom and the questions i kept asking myself repeatedly was, "Am I blind all this while or did i ever chose to be blind...Or was this really just one off incident? I know I can count on him on certain things but...... ? ..... Or was this all just pre-wedding jitters we both commit?"
Sep 2012
It didn't end there... cause I had no answers. So I asked around...
1) Tarot card reader Monica, recommended by friends (W, Py, Ht)
Her answers were very unpleasant. Before I broke the news of upcoming marriage, she predicts that I'll see another guy in a year's time as the current one is too boring for me. She sees that my boyfriend's current job is boring and any change of job, he will face failures. When I finally broke the marriage news, she says "you should have told me earlier, now that you know all this bad news.. how are you going to feel, what are you going to do, you need to decide as I've already told you what I can see." She sees that other than being happy ONLY on the wedding day, I'll be crying by the window every night after, feeling trapped by the marriage. She continues with, "and if you are really going to see another guy, please don't get yourself pregnant as I can see one coming up if there's a marriage..." All so convincingly spoken, while my mother listens quietly as she sat behind me.
Well if she's so good, did she sees that the marriage was coming? Cause its planned at least 10months ago. I have no conclusion over what she has mentioned. The negative impacts on me and I thought I should seek a 2nd opinion.
2) Chinese Fortune Teller, recommended by friend (Xl)
His answers were more neutral and soothing, take whatever comes with stride. He sees it in my life that nothing comes without effort and I need to work hard for my future. "He"(my husband) may be the right one though there may be another in future. Decision lies in me. Similarly my marriage is something I will need to fight for.
3) My Mother says, "It's your marriage that I think you need more time to decide? I'm alright if you wish to postponed the wedding. I've see certain things you didn't noticed for the past 8 years. I've said and have highlighted to you but you didn't seems to register... "
4) Friends were there to share my problems though they know well enough they couldn't decide for me either.
Sep 2012
Also, during this month, I attended my leading training. Met new batch mates, all there because of their hard work paid off, and their contributions (time, efforts and ideas) to the company. All the "champs" high flyers, tip-top knowledge of procedures, and mostly updated gossips in the company. Some of them knew each other way beforehand, and I was the "mysterious" one which they were looking out for till one day before the start of our training. I must say, I am lucky, blessed and proud to be part of the batch! Because I see that they are people who cares, rather than what I was expecting, scary, political, bootlicking people, climbing on each other kind.
Realized last update was close to 2years ago and of course many things happened! Many!!
Am married in 22nd October 2012 with my 8years boyfriend, officially Mrs Lee. Didn't came easy to accept for the first 2months due to incident that happened just 2 months before wedding.
Aug 2012
To summarize, found my ex-boyfriend (cause he's current husband) sending a beer girl home at late hours, and all he told me was "I'm going for a drink". And I really have no idea what got into me to follow him. Maybe it was the slight hurry to "go for a drink" despite not seeing me after I came back from a long flight, that made me suspicious, or maybe it was few unintentional checks while I'm overseas on where he was from the 'find my iphone' app, that make me puzzled cause he shouldn't be where I checked he was. So I pulled the check again to find him instead of driving home, he was going the other direction for that drink, and even sending the girl home which was further away from his place. I walked up to him when they were at the girl's place's void deck, demanding for a reason why he was there, demanding to know for how many times he had sent her back... His reason was he was "just sending his 'friend' home", "since its not very far". I know this person too well. If he wants to do something, he'd give all reasons he can pull from his bank.. and evidence shows it wasn't really "on the way". And he even insist he should have his privacy and keeping that "friend" cause she's just a friend. Subsequently, under duress, he further admitted knowing this person for about 2 weeks and had went for meals together twice or so. All done when I was not in town and unaware. Having a friend that requires "offline" from fiance?? Of course I told him, its either me your fiance, or her, your "just a friend". From then on, as I had warned him, I'll forgive but not forget, and this follows into the marriage. I passed the baton back to him, to marry or not, you choose and don't regret.
This incident, of course, did disappoint me and crashed me real hard. Our wedding is just scheduled around the corner and I didn't quite believe this man whom I've been dating for past 8 years, whom I've always know that he never looked at other girls, whom he never need to keep a girl friend away from my knowledge and parked under "his privacy", to put me through this 'betrayed' situation. I cannot decide, I want to pull out from our wedding but there were way too little time for too many considerations, our families, the invitations, the news of the marriage. My confidence in him drop to rock bottom and the questions i kept asking myself repeatedly was, "Am I blind all this while or did i ever chose to be blind...Or was this really just one off incident? I know I can count on him on certain things but...... ? ..... Or was this all just pre-wedding jitters we both commit?"
Sep 2012
It didn't end there... cause I had no answers. So I asked around...
1) Tarot card reader Monica, recommended by friends (W, Py, Ht)
Her answers were very unpleasant. Before I broke the news of upcoming marriage, she predicts that I'll see another guy in a year's time as the current one is too boring for me. She sees that my boyfriend's current job is boring and any change of job, he will face failures. When I finally broke the marriage news, she says "you should have told me earlier, now that you know all this bad news.. how are you going to feel, what are you going to do, you need to decide as I've already told you what I can see." She sees that other than being happy ONLY on the wedding day, I'll be crying by the window every night after, feeling trapped by the marriage. She continues with, "and if you are really going to see another guy, please don't get yourself pregnant as I can see one coming up if there's a marriage..." All so convincingly spoken, while my mother listens quietly as she sat behind me.
Well if she's so good, did she sees that the marriage was coming? Cause its planned at least 10months ago. I have no conclusion over what she has mentioned. The negative impacts on me and I thought I should seek a 2nd opinion.
2) Chinese Fortune Teller, recommended by friend (Xl)
His answers were more neutral and soothing, take whatever comes with stride. He sees it in my life that nothing comes without effort and I need to work hard for my future. "He"(my husband) may be the right one though there may be another in future. Decision lies in me. Similarly my marriage is something I will need to fight for.
3) My Mother says, "It's your marriage that I think you need more time to decide? I'm alright if you wish to postponed the wedding. I've see certain things you didn't noticed for the past 8 years. I've said and have highlighted to you but you didn't seems to register... "
4) Friends were there to share my problems though they know well enough they couldn't decide for me either.
Sep 2012
Also, during this month, I attended my leading training. Met new batch mates, all there because of their hard work paid off, and their contributions (time, efforts and ideas) to the company. All the "champs" high flyers, tip-top knowledge of procedures, and mostly updated gossips in the company. Some of them knew each other way beforehand, and I was the "mysterious" one which they were looking out for till one day before the start of our training. I must say, I am lucky, blessed and proud to be part of the batch! Because I see that they are people who cares, rather than what I was expecting, scary, political, bootlicking people, climbing on each other kind.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home