_end.of.attachment_
hey ppl, it's end of attachment. There hasn't been any change for me since last update. It's a time for me to clear everything in my room and prepare for a new change, hopefully big changes. I used to collect whatever that came pass my life in my room, e.g. from tissue paper wrapper to latest school text bk to even my EDO Sushi Menu, past yr school calendar, all the greeting cards that ppl sent to me. mum and bro would always say my room's full of rubbish. Well, yes, these will soon be out of my "little heaven".
Next big thing i wished for, can we have another outing to Pulau Ubin?? lolxx... of coz that's not the ideal grad outing. *..think i'm crazy..*
hAIzZz... just as i was writing this journal halfway, was so pissed by a fren. was wondering wad state are we in now. At times, i really do feel sorry for him, for being rude to him, being unfriendly, being unconcern. I admit i did. Perhaps all i did, my main objective is to avoid him, even to the extend of making him dislike me. Just avoid whatever that has got to do with him. Perhaps this is the only way i can escape, from being trap again. Many times it was my intention to make him feel hurt, pain and peirced. But many times, he misinterpret what ever i have said too. Is there no longer a mutual understanding between us? i know he has done so much, put so much effort back, but the more he does, the more it irritates me, bcoz i feel there's no way for escape. I want to turn ard and fight back, bite back, but on the other hand, i want to maintain a frenship. i know strongly i was too much. I might be selfish, but only if u always tink for urself. If i'm being too direct, it's bcoz i can't help to keep quiet anymore. But to a fren like him, i'm sorry.
the.moment.you.left.my.heart
you.have.break.thousands.of.hopes.apart
i.have.been.asked.2b.independent
so.now.i.live.in.my.own.kingdom
-= fEe|iNg bO |iAo =-
Things are changing so fast everyday. Targets are set higher and higher. In our attachment, we were told to achieve 30 successful conversion out of 53 call attempts. Yet, targets are set higher, and wad abt the pay? hMMm...sad to say, this ish our attachment.. our IA life at M1.. we live in it and view at it differently. We do the daily routine. (1)Daily Briefing (2)Calls (3)Lunch (4)Calls again, and occasionally TCS(talk cock session) when campaign is not loaded.
Some might say we gained the skills and knowledge of products and customer handling. I just wonder does making calls and bargaining the offers over the phone a special set of skills/knowledge? It seems to me more that we'r not there to learn anymore. We are just there to be there, just there to hit our targets, get good grading, and leave the place soon.
Even though, the only thing i enjoy would definitely be the people ard me there. They are PESSIMISTIC yet MOTIVATING! confused huh? Pessimistic abt the job, motivating bcoz they created the spirit and challenge, and we often encouraged each other with bountiful snacks and stuff.. EVERYDAY morning!! The greatest thing of all, we can mingle, chat and have fun, we are in split groups but we stand together. If one meets the pb, the rest would help to solve it together. Stress to us are only day by day basis, unlike proj in sch are sem by sem basis. BUT i still don't hope to have this kinda living for long.. hahha.. lazy to wake up so early in the morning..taking cabs almost 3 out of 5 days. BROKE!
WAD's WRONG WITH ME..??
it's been ages since i've last update this journal. Wonder would i write this for long either. It was meant to update my beloved friends of my current well being.
well, i would say.. life is full of ups and downs. I was realli living in heaven some time ago, now i'm coming down the slope. More and more troubles coming; Might be for myself; Might be for others.
1. Just failed a test, which initially weighs some importance in my heart. The moment i realise my mistake, my heart sunk deeply. well, it's over and no point thinking of it. what actually moved me on was the thought of most frenz ard me who also passed the test only on their sec tries(no offence), and those frenz bside me who offer some sweets and snacks / stuff to keep me away from emotions.
2. Well, another thing that makes me quite upset, and which, if i annouce here would seems a great news to all... i've GAIN weight!! sobx.. i tried my best to maintain.. but those snacks are realli tempting and killing me!!
3. The thought of graduating in few mths time really frightens me too. Facing the unexpected future, with the skills i've learnt from poly is realli insufficient. Fierce competition of clinching to a job and getting into a Uni sometimes makes me feel out of place in the society. Guys.. how abt you? Have you make your route? Or is it still early?
4. Infact, i was given a chance to learn some new things and enter the entertainment industry. hMmM.. still deciding, and my interest is there. My greatest consideration is the risk and effort put in. Wonder if i can get anything out of it. And if i do, will it be good or bad? My bro says my age is abit old for this.
5. Had plans to org a chalet. In fact chalet was already booked for my sec sch mates. Unexpectedly, it clashed with my coz sista's wedding and i was also asked to be one of the sistas there. The wedding dinner day happens to be the sec day of the booked chalet and when i requested for a postpone of the chalet, it was too late: All units were taken up. Feeling troubled, had to rush from sentosa all the way to tampines within a nite don't interest me at all. Even quarrelled with mum on this issue, as she insisted that i should be staying at my coz sista's house on the first nite of my chalet, bcoz i was invited. that means to say, although i've booked the chalet, i wouldn't be there to enjoyed.
6. Love relationship might not last, but wonder if friendship really does. One of my closest grp of frenz in poly seems to split in few wks time. miss them so much, seperated by their TEP and my attachment, and so many things happened. They used to discuss things together, but now, they think differently. And worst thing was, none of them seems willing to give way or try to make a better change. One party even tinking the other as the ignorant party, but when i approached them, they had different views of a normal behavior, different excuses to be angry and even different way of interpreting each other's intention. I wanted to help seriously, but sometimes helping them seems to be a wrong choice, bcoz i'm sumhow begin to trust one side instead of both. This story sounds vague, but i couldn't be spelling everything out coz i believe it'll hurt them both.
7. worst thing of all, when everything starts to break down, money too seems to disperse into air in just few days time. Simply to say, i'm REALLY BROKE! Spent so so much $$ on tat darn car lessons, then the booking of chalet which adds up to more than half a thousand.. gosh.. all paying by myself? This is way too much than my mthly "attachment pay + edo" pay LOR..!! (-_-..) where's the $$ for my daily meals? lolx..i really don't believe i'm still gaining weight guys.. tink i should start keeping an acct book in my pocket everyday ya??
...On e 2nD apr...
It's hard to get off/rest esp during weekdays and i decided to make full use of this day. In fact this morning, i slp as much as i can till noon.
- Met my .NET grp to recieved some cert @ Suntec Microsoft Co.~!! miss them so much.. well, i wasn't really there to get the cert, i wanted 2b there just to meet them and ask them how they were. Noticed that 'yong ge ge' looks so much nerd than b4 due to the new spec..(lolx...); and 'da ge' looks shag; bene looks the same. Oh ya.. i miss out MOK!! lolxx.. he's the same.. small eyes..n oways eager to get things done.
- Aft which, i travelled all the way till SENTOSA!! I'm sooo eager abt it! Even though my place was raining, Regina Geralding and Cindy keeps lying that the place there is "BRIGHT & SUNNY" and i stupidly believe. GosH.. all the way from Suntec to SENTOSA just for a teabreak spent @ DELIFRANCE. It was still drizzling even aft our teabreak. Really feel like luffing @ myself for even so dumb.
- And in the evening..i met my elder coz Anna to watch "Passion of the Christ". I thought it was a movie meant for christians and catholics. But the moment i see the images and effects, of how Jesus got tortured, i wouldn't deny my tears did dripped abit. hMMmM.. felt sorry for sister mary. but i would say i'm not those who really watch n understd.. :X i think i merely watch the show like any other movie..
- As i say, i need to make full use of the day.. y would anyone miss the opport of going out late @nite? Met yanqi n co. to devil's. One mistake was that i end up jio-ing my coz and her hubby along, who din seems to enjoy herself wif the crowd and musix. well of coz i din enjoy that much as well. might be the musix, might be the crowd too.. just dun feel rite so i left earli and slp overnite @ coz place. Home Sweet Home on the next day's morning.
...oN e 1sT apr...
oH my... this isn't any joke.. On this day, our batch of 18 IA students were "send back" home. wAd a day.. hee, although some of my collegues were unhappy about it, since we had wasted the morning to travel all the way to Jurong, most were happy to go for a celebration. As for me, i join a grp to orchard to have lunch @ pastamania. Great day. Received a msg that we wun have to turn up for work the next day either(Bcoz e technicians were unable to get the campaigns loaded on time.)
Teen Forecast for Me May 01, 2004
DAILY: A recent spat with a friend seemed like more than it really was, and it's time you two talked it out. Neither of you are into holding grudges, so it shouldn't be long before you've both forgotten the whole thing ever happened.
WEEKLY: Monday makes you question some big issues. Tuesday and Wednesday, you start drawing some conclusions. If someone is driving you crazy, is it really worth keeping them in your life for much longer? Thursday, you realize what's important: Keep your commitments to your close friends, but it's time to evaluate newcomers with some of your secretly cold-blooded logic. It's time to treat yourself on Friday and Saturday; you may find something perfect that you've been longing for. On Sunday, take it easy -- put your feet up.
>>sounds true..
